Do You Even Bikini Prep/I Suck At Blogging: 8 WEEKS OUT

….I have left you like a jar of peanut butter with half a tablespoon left in the bottom that is too little to scoop out with a spoon (anything less than 6 tablespoons is just pointless to consume!)

me + peanut butter 5eva

I’m sorry, my lovely followers. I have been insanely busy at work (Excuse #1), attempting a social life (failing, but Excuse #2), and training my buns off (Excuse #3.)

So I will give you a plethora of updates into this little life o’ mine:

  • Diet and training is amaaaazing as usual. I’ve shed 5 poundaroos in the last four weeks. I was struggling a little but I’ve got my head on straight now. Cardio is only 30 minutes of HIIT three times a week so I can HAVE A LIFE which is quite lovely. It also makes me enjoy cardio because I’m not doing 14 hours a week and it’s shorter sessions so I WANNA GO HARD IN THE PAINT, ya dig?

    me after cardio #gimmeoxygen

  • I seriously cannot believe I am a little less than 8 weeks/2 months/60 days out. Insanity, I tell you! I look so different than my previous preps at this moment in time. And I feel fantastic. I’m a little bit tired but I don’t get as hungry anymore than when Jules first lowered my caloric intake. I’M GOOD.

    is there really an inappropriate time for an Ariel gif

  • I am in the May edition of Oxygen magazine in the Rising Stars section. AKA WUT. I had submitted my “story/non-story” like 200 years ago at the encouraging of Miss S. Peppa and Oxygen sent me a questionnaire to fill out with more information about myself and then – people told me I was in it! I was beyond floored, excited, grateful, shocked, squeeeee-happy. #FeelsGoodMan

    lol @ my personal training business goal (i was low-carb at the time)

    lol @ my personal training business goal (i was low-carb at the time)

  • I’m also on the front inside cover of the Gap’s Annual Report after they discovered my artistik selfie in my fave camo pants in the Gap changeroom. So listen up selfie haters, maybe you’ll end up in a financial/business document. TAKE ALL OF DA SELFIES.

    me circa march 2013

    me circa march 2013

  • I was blessed/honoured with a tanning sponsorship from the wonderful Tan in the Wild. I’ve been going to Tan in the Wild for my bronzing needs since I was in high school (before any sort of bans, of course. No age jokes allowed!) I was honoured and flattered and I have been browning myself until I am a sensual black bean. (Okay, dark brown. Mediterranean skin: love you.) Joe and the staff at Tan in the Wild are very friendly and the beds are luscious with a little butterscotch candy THAT I CAN NEVER EAT on it, but it is a great place to pretend like you went on vacation.

    I DON’T WANNA BE A GHOST

  • I had my first refeed meal on Sunday so I chose a diner-style breakfast with my beardy stud. I don’t think the other diners were ready for the slaughter I made of that breakfast: my stomach is larger than my body. #Science. Oh…and I ate two donuts afterwards. Vanilla dip and sour cream glazed give me liiiiife. 
  • Refeed‘ is way better than ‘cheat’. ‘Cheat’ adds the negative connotation to food and treats certain foods as ‘bad’ and can harbor feelings of negativity, guilt and regret towards food. This is a very serious, highly prevalent occurrence in the fitness and competition culture that nobody talks about but does at the same time. “Binges” post-show are widely accepted but further the vicious cycle of “Omg need to do cardio because I ate 900 chili cheese fries and 40 pop tarts.” You ate a ton of carbs. Way to go! Refeed that nutrient-depleted body. Don’t regret it. You did it. Now move on! Don’t be in an on-again, off-again relationship with food.

    IT LOVES YOU TOO

  • Where did I get dat amazing knowledge?! My amazing coaches of course. I went to Understanding the Process, a seminar about competition prep and all of the things nobody talks about when competing. It was a lot of fun and I met a ton of competitors who I’ve only talked to via social media and it was a really supportive, positive group – shoutout to May, Nneka, Tamara, Abby aka Unicorn Princess, Nicolette, and Miss Caroline! You guys are beauties. Fitness is forever a learning curve: you’re never an all-knowing creature. Learning and growing is why the fitness industry is so fun and dynamic: it is ever-changing and you are always growing (if you allow it to happen.) Oh yeah, and I won a tub of A Healthy Fit protein, so YEAH BABY.
  • On a non-fitness front (wut, I have a non-fitness life?!), I accepted an AMAZING career opportunity so I have sent in my notice to my current job and will be making the change in a couple of weeks. I AM HAPPY PEANUT.

    YARRRRRRR

So there’s my little update into my life. If you want to see any progress pictures/weird selfies/fitsporation, check out my Instagram @itsbetterblonde.

K I’m off to eat cucumbers and pan-fried fishie (thank you Abby for saving my life!)

KEEP LIFTING AND LIVING YOUR LIFE.

 

3 Month Countdown: UFE Showdown

So I have an app on my phone that counts down to my competition (as I mentioned in my last post) and today it alerted me that it’s…

3 MONTHS UNTIL UFE SHOWDOWN.

SO EXCITED!

Holy hell, right? Most people would start their “cut” at the 12-weeks-out mark but my sexy coaches gave me a 14-week bikini prep so I’m 2 weeks ahead of the game! (#positivethinking).

back

lol, yes i send snapchats like this

Two weeks into prep and I’m feeling pretty good. I find it’s mostly (actually 1020%) a mental thing for me. Like clockwork, as soon as prep starts, I begin to think of all these foods I wanted now that I can’t have them (on account that I don’t have “freebies” on my own accord anymore – must ask Jules for the green light.) I find this helps me not to nibble all week on little cheats like adding BBQ sauce to chicken (shit is high in sugar, my friends) or indulging with a cake batter cookie that my little sister KEEPS ON MAKING. (These are so good. I would sell my soul for these.)

my coworker made Guinness chocolate cake and I couldn’t have any #tears

DISCLAIMER: Not saying you should NEVER have cheats – that’s dumb as hell in my personal opinion and when you brag about having no “cheat meals” ever…are you really living? They jumpstart your metabolism, guru girl! #GirlBye But at this point in MY training for MY goals, freebies are a no-no. SO IT’S ALL GOOD.

i’m the first cat #nomoregreens #morechocoplz

Carbs have been lowered #tearsforPaige. But on the plus side, every time I consume my morning oats or sweet potatoes, I feel like heaven is shining down on me or Mr. Potato Head is sacrificing his child for my happiness. (Thank you Mr. Potato Head.)

me when i eat sweet potatoes

My strength in the gym has decreased slightly due to the carb change and loss of one meal – I struggle a little more when I’m BENCHING A QUARTER with the free barbell and I had to downsize to 70lbs from 90lbs on incline chest press. (Insert Jay-Z’s ‘Dirt Off Your Shoulder’ here.) However, form is key so I must swallow my Leo pride (honestly, if you don’t know I’m a Leo by now, you need to get correct!) and reduce my weights.

abs flex

one week into prep abs. yeah, i’m showing off

I’m still killing my leg workouts with three-day-long DOMS and no reduction in weights. MY. BUNS ARE ON FIIIIIIIIIIIIRE. (If you need a little extra pickle in your butt after your leg workouts, try single-leg leg press for drop sets. GOOD LUCK WALKING AFTERWARDS.)

glutes and hamstrings

on friday we train glutes and hams

Thursdays are usually my rest days, but last night I decided to get together with some old dancing gals for a drop-in ballet class at Rhythm and Grace. (Yes, I used to prefer twirling on my toes to lifting weights like a real boy.) I was worried I would be:

a) Toight as a tiger. Lifting weights shortens your muscles, which is why stretching is so key when you’re strength training. I was a little bit crackly here and there, but I’ve always been lax in my stretching. SO SUE ME.

b) Too old to retain choreography. After my super-intensive party girl days, I gave up dancing because I couldn’t retain choreography. This was likely due to my super ridiculously poor diet and mass consumption of alcohol. It’s been a few years since then and I was surprised I picked up the old French ballet terms automatically. Crazy how things stick! But I guess 14 years of dance does that to ya!

best music video.

c) Look terrible in my leotard/too tight on my ass. Nope. I think I looked better in my leotard last night than I did when I was a petite sixteeny. My delts looked fab in the studio lighting – I was #feelinmyself.

ballet

Yuki, Kelsey, Addie, and I after our ballet class #dead

The ballet class was amazing and it made me remember how much I loved dance! (Dance used to be my gym when I was younger and needed a stress relief.) I miss ballet. I’ll definitely be incorporating ballet into my training to switch it up once in a while. The drop-in classes are affordable ($17!) and are located at the iGita Hot Yoga Studio in Oakville. You should probably check it out – beginners are welcome too! It’s not some hoity-toity class full of sticks and a brutally snobby French woman. The Founder and Artistic Director, Natalie Sweazey-Pitton is really sweet and hilarious and the ballet class was classic ballet with a touch of yoga. The theme was Love Yourself.

AW YA LOVE YOSELF.

But I still need that heavy-hittin’ iron. Can’t wait for my brutal ass-and-hams workout tonight.

the gym yes

OH! I almost forgot: I booked my spray tan yesterday with Hollywood Tan London (same place Rita Catalino and Meaghan Tezris endorse. #booya). This competition experience is a lot different for me, because I’m a lot more independent and I don’t feel forced to choose a specific service to go with for my show needs. I’m shopping around for a suitmaker which is fun – I really want a Ravish Sands suit but I don’t know if I can handle the anxiety of delivery and will it fit/what if it doesn’t fit/what if the world ends/what if my ass is too big/too small/I grow boobs. (If anyone has ordered from them or has any local affordable suitmakers, please let me know how it went!) 

Back to eating mass amounts of broccoli, kale, and spinach. #tearsforPaige, part two.

i am Godzilla #wahh

KEEP LIFTING AND LOVE YASELF. (And don’t be afraid to admit you love my swaggie choice of gifs.)

xx

paigey peanut

Do You Even Bikini Prep?

This is going to be a new thing, I know it. #DYEBP

I haven’t written a post in forever. (I FEEL LIKE I KEEP WRITING THIS SENTENCE.) I’m sorry – I get super busy with work, training, Cellucor demos, my ghost writing on the My Virtual Mission blog, SLEEPING, and trying not to be too much of a hermit and have a social life (yeaaaah, that’s not happening anytime soon.)

yum cereal!

I’m on Day 2 of Phase One of what “normal” people would call “cutting” a.k.a. bikini competition prep. But the best part is I’m not doing 9 hours of cardio a day on 400 calories! OOH RAH. #FeelsGoodMan. I’m 15 weeks/100 days out! This prep is way different because I didn’t “bulk” like a lot of competitors choose to do in their “off-season”…it’s how I thought you were supposed to do it! But I didn’t want to do 50 years of cardio and have little to no sleep..I have a job and would like to keep my sanity thanks! So I maintained a semi-lean bulk and now I only have to do 4 short cardio sessions a week! I used to do 14 CARDIO SESSIONS A WEEK. 14 HOURS OF CARDIO A WEEK. WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?! WHEN DID I BREATHE?! And did I even gain any muscle, lol?

BYE CARDIO

Oh speaking of muscles…I actually made muscular #gainz these past few months. Mini leg and back separation PRE-DIET CHANGE. Dat’s dat good good metabolism.

I’m itching to get back on stage (nah, I don’t have crabs.) And I already know the suit colour I want and let’s be serious..I’M GOING TO LOOK FABULOUS!

naturally 

Call me “conceited”, but if you don’t love yourself, NOBODY WILL! Nobody has time to feel sorry for you and your #firstworldproblem “tragedies.” Just do work and work in silence. Don’t be that douche monkey lifting less than you at the gym but yelling like a baboon in childbirth. (It’s a metaphor. Wink wink.) Can women stop putting emphasis on the negatives in their life stories? Celebrate the positive! /end rant

BLEGH

I knew this was going to end up like a ranty word-vomit piece. NOT EXACTLY MY BEST WORK BUT LOOK AT ALL THE GIFS. I thought I’d update you on my fitness-side of life aka my favourite part of life.

  • I’m loving my new food plan and workouts from my coaches at A Healthy Fit (PAM+JULES 5EVER)
  • Leg workouts are destroying me. Pickles in the butt twice a week!
  • My back workouts are kind of meh lately. I be steady missing those deadlifts. But just have to reignite the flame between mind-muscle connection.
  • Um, I can bench press ALMOST 100lbs?! With a spotter, obv. (Thanx to @Stoodley3 for dealing with my sensual lifting faces – go follow him on IG!)
  • Warning to friends and family: I am planning on absolutely destroying my competition(s) this year, so forgive me because I am about to be M.I.A. training my gluteus maximi off.  If you can’t handle that I’m going after my dreams and goals, because you’re too busy living a mediocre life with your lacklustre sig other and/or have no ambition (who r u) and/or are drowning in your own pity party, I’m sorry but I can’t help you.

If you’re looking for me, I’ll be eating, sleeping, working, or working out. Or follow me on Instagram for all the booty, progress, and inspiration: @itsbetterblonde.

XO

DRUNK IN GAINZ

Toronto Has The Best Restaurants For Cheating

image (6)

…it’s not what you think, I swear. This beeyotch is loyal to the bone. ;) Anywho, enough of me being inappropriately sassy. I have less than a week left in my off-season…craaaazy right!? I’ve been trying to cross off all the … Continue reading

#GlutesForTheBrutes: A Playlist

February 2013 vs. Septembe 2013 glute-y showdown

You want a sneak peek into the little buds screaming sweet nothings into my ears? Yeeaaaaah, you do. Here is a retrospective view into my musical tastes over the past year: April 2013 was my My Lots of Cardio, No Carbs … Continue reading

Ambition & My First Real Off-Season: #2014MyYear

My favourite progress. Forgive the language - I was excited!

Hello? Is this thing on? I haven’t written on this baby in over two weeks! And I can’t remember the last fitness-related post I wrote. (I’ve been a crazy whirlwhind of things and updates, so I guess this will be … Continue reading

Hey Guys, Learn Your MANners

this is me

So it’s 10 days into 2014 and I’m already feeling the need for another Festivus so I can air my grievances. (That’s a good sign for the year to come, right?!) Anyways. Remember when I expressed my feelings (vented, ranted, … Continue reading

The Year Ahead: My Jay-Cutler-Size To Do List (No 22-Inch Arms Though)

goal-quote-jordan-belfort-

Happy New Year everyone! I can’t believe it’s already 2014..I remember drawing pictures of what I thought the year 2000  was going to be like and here we are in two thousand and freaking FOURTEEN. (I see none of my … Continue reading

Happy Festivus!

..is it though?!

If you know me, you know I am the self-proclaimed female George Costanza. I also am trying to post QUALITY posts over QUANTITY posts (shoutout to my main heezy, Casey Palmer, for that sweet blog advice.) Anyways. TODAY IS FESTIVUS. … Continue reading

I <3 Fitness: Inside Fitness Women’s Training Guide Launch Party

Yesterday I was one of a select group of lucky fitness-loving ladies to be invited to Inside Fitness Magazine‘s Women’s Training Guide Launch Party (available December 16!) at the exquisite Battle Arts Academy. It was an amazing afternoon of sweating and getting our butts kicked by the best fitness experts in the biz (totally made me regret staying out late the night before! Hey, it’s off-season!)

that’s my struggling face pre-nosebleed

I got a nosebleed.

That’s how hardcore it was.

Ha! Just kidding. (I did get a nosebleed and it was hardcore but I think it was just the dry air. #dramaqueen).

Boxing, strength circuit training and yoga…OH MY!

The first session I participated in was boxing taught by Nichelle Laus – a boxing instructor at Battle Arts Academy. I donned my boxing gloves – looking uber-cute whilst doing so – and I learned how to jab, where to keep my hands to defend myself, bounce around on my toes (sore calves today!), how to hook, and my personal favourite…the roundhouse kick. I loved this session and it was fun to punch and kick the shit out of the punching bag: I neeed to take boxing classes now – watch out world!

Boxing with Nichelle Laus!

i luh da camera

kicking shit with Daniella Ventresca

The second session was a strength training circuit run by Stephanie Joanne (Fitness Expert on CityLine is just one of her many roles). OMG. She kicked my butt. I knew she was going to, too. (I remember following Tracy from CityLine as she was getting personal trained by Steph and Steph is a beast! The strength training circuit consisted of 2-minute circuit stations involving jump squats, rope pulls, pull=ups, monkey bars, jumping rope, planks, and a lovely 2-minute sprint on an incline. (That lovely 2-minute sprint made me want to puke and those planks made me get a nosebleed. #hardcore) I know I said the boxing session was my favourite, but ….so was this one!

Me and Daniella planking hands-to-elbows

The third session brought the whole group of ladies together again and was a yoga practice led by yogi mama Gillian Mandich. It was the perfect relaxing end to a high-energy afternoon. I love yoga and I haven’t done it in a long time. Gillian’s practice helped to reignite my passion for yoga – and I learned how to externally rotate and interdigitate my toes! ;)

It was such a fun afternoon and I got a chance to mingle with fellow fitness and healthy-living-loving women and it made me realize – again – how much I love the fitness industry and all of the empowerment it brings to women. I’m grateful that I was chosen to participate in this amazing event and thanks to Rachel Crocker and Terry Frendo from Inside Fitness, Steven Wong from Battle Arts Academy and the fitness beauties Nichelle, Steph, and Gillian for putting on such a fantastic launch party! There are not enough of these positive, supportive events for women out there and this was a beautiful thing (even though I have the worst DOMS right now.)

i spy half of me in this lol

Keep your eyes peeled for the inaugural issue of the Women’s Training Guide on December 16 – I already got mine!

xx

Paigey