Alright, this is serious. Reading a book for pleasure should always be a pleasant, stress-free experience.
I’m reading War & Peace right now and it’s taken me forever. It’s not that bad of a book: I can see how it’s a classic and all, because IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO READ.
Reasons it has taken me almost a month to read this accursed book and the associated rants:
- There are about nine million characters. In the first party scene. I had to read SparkNotes and CliffNotes to try to figure out who everyone was and how they were related. There were a thousand Annas and everyone was a damned count. I still have a very, very vague idea of the characters and I’m on the second book/part.
- They really should have put one of those character family trees in the prequel of the book. I probably would have a better idea of what the hell is going on in the book.
- The version I have is a translated version by some random man (maybe he’s famous, I don’t know.) I don’t know if there were some phrases lost in translation that couldn’t be properly transitioned from Russian into English but some of the adjectives and descriptors didn’t make any sense at all. 99% of the time, there were contradicting things going on. For example, some guy named Andrei would say something seemingly mundane, but he would say it “naively” or “angrily.” Double-you-tee-eff. Either it’s my special time of the month, or this book is just ticking me right off.
- IT IS SO BORING. I’m thinking about the plot line and the plot is weak as hell — so far, anyways.
- Every literature professor or ‘Masters of English’ student can hate me: this book is terrible. It probably reads better in its original language of Russian, but I’ll never know.
- It is just about the most inconsistent book ever. Everyone’s Russian but they’re French, but they’re German, but they hate the French and they hate the Austrians, but they’re fighting other Russians.
- And everyone’s a flippin’ count of something or other-ov.
- I’m noticing a trend here with classic books. MOST ARE TERRIBLY WRITTEN. I think I could write a book and it would be a thousand times better. Everyone would love it. I just know it.