Disney Gone Wild: Springbreakers


Now that I have your attention…

Last week, I won tickets to see Springbreakers for a screening last night  before it hits theatres on Friday. (Thanks SceneCreek!)

I took my sister, because I know both of us Tumblrheads had wanted to see this movie for a while.


Springbreakers inspired some major buzz at last year’s Cannes Film Festival when a three-minute preview was shown. Pow! Tumblr lit up like the Fourth of July with countless gifs and “Disney” edits.

Let me just say that this film was….an experience. It left me feeling like, “What in the actual hell just happened?!”

Springbreakers is to this young generation as Blue Crush was for my generation — except a lot heavier. Mismatched bikinis, muscled boys, beaches, endless parties, and no responsibilities?! “Yes, please,” says thirteen-year-old Paige. Blue Crush had booze and the odd marijuana reference, but Springbreakers was heavy in the cocaine, drug trafficking and murder.

Following the staccato, fragmented fashion of the movie, here’s what I thought of the film:

  • Clearly a man directed this movie: BOOBS AND BOOTY EVERYWHERE. So much gratuitous female anatomy. Hey, I’ve been to Cuba on Spring Break and I saw zero boobage.
  • Vanessa Hudgens had this Harlem, inner city drawl going on. Juuuuust don’t, okay Nessie?
  • James Franco was hysterically funny. Probably the best part of the movie to be honest. Unsure if he was supposed to add a comedic element. or not. But he did.
  • There wasn’t really a plot line, or it wasn’t a cookie cutter plot line. In this case, I kind of saw it as a good thing, because I never knew what was going to happen next. It was like everyone was smoking some fierce chronic when filming, writing and directing it.
  • Gucci Mane was the “villain.” And yes, he did get that ice cream tattoo. And yes, you will see him getting down and dirty with a couple of ladies. I have already booked an appointment with my therapist to cure the nightmares.
  • Although the acting was sub-par, the cinematography was interesting and not too shabby. (Disclaimer: I am no film critic. Just a girl with a blog.) Even though it was a bit confusing sometimes, the “flash forward” camera shots were cool and added some more dynamics to the flat storyline.
  • There’s one scene with Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson and James Franco where he deepthroats a gun that probably could have been left out. I’m not a prude in any sense of the word, but this scene made me uncomfortable and also made me think, “WTF does this add to the story!?”
  • There is no resolution at the end of the movie. No pretty bow to tie up the “perfect Spring Break” which was another positive. It left you feeling somewhat disturbed and opened your eyes to the clearly sociopathic tendencies of the girls.
  • Another element of the movie that I enjoyed was the overall raw feeling.  There was a certain bleak and desperate vibe to the girls’ characters and their stories which speak to the “realistic” side of the Hollywood-ized glamour of partying, no parents and no rules. Maybe it was just me, but you just feel sympathy for the girls and the empty direction that their life is headed. Maybe it had to do with the colours used in the movie, but that was the vibe I was getting.
  • Soundtrack was weak. Top 40 songs with some Gucci Mane thrown in there for the “hardcore” scenes in the strip club.
  • At the screening last night, there was a crazy broad demographic of viewers. There were college film club kids, the screening sponsors (professionals, office drones required to be there, etc.) the one film elitist jerk behind me, and a surprising amount of people in their mid-40s and 50s. Every time something on screen made me cringe, I couldn’t help but think, “What are they thinking?! Has anyone had a heart attack yet?!” If my parents saw this film, they would hate it. A couple associated with NOW Magazine in front of me were the only people to actually leave the theatre halfway through the film. Whether it was for another engagement or they were so disgusted by the film, who knows?!

Overall, the movie was mostly what I expected. A little heavier  with the drugs and murder, but still not exactly a contender for any film festival awards anytime soon. Let’s just say I’m glad I didn’t pay for this movie.

I give it two out of five mismatched bikinis.

Oh, and one more thing:

“Spriiiiiing break. Spriiiiiing break. Sprriiiing break foreverrrrrr.”



5 Comments Add yours

  1. Casey Palmer says:

    WHAT! The villain is BLACK?!

    I did NOT see this coming 😐

    1. Paige Andrea says:

      Ha! Actually, when I think about it, black people were very poorly represented (white people weren’t much better represented either) but I did NOT get good vibes. Very stereotypical portrayals.

  2. that trailer just looks creepy!

  3. I love the part where you said you’re getting therapy because you seen Gucci Mane in a few sex scenes lol!!!
    You definitely have a way with words because even though the movie was quite mediocre; your sarcasm and jargon made it a little interesting to say the least.
    Hope training is going well!
    Isaac Hall

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