…Okay, so it won’t be a diary, but I guess I could share a few…anecdotes.
So I’m essentially 10 months into this fitness adventure and I have learned that dating as a (committed? Insane? Dedicated?) fitness competitor is different than when I was a “normal” person.
Yeah you still have your jerks, players, boring guys, nice-guys-but-not-the-right-time, weirdos, and but-I’m-a-nice-guy victims. But have you ever tried to plan a date around your crazy full gym schedule? This is not the only problem we encounter. (Even you Taken People know what I’m talking about!)
Here’s a quick summary of things I have learned while dating as a fitness competitor:
- You don’t realize how many dates revolve around food, until you look at menus pre-date and realize YOU CANNOT EAT A DAMN THING ON THE MENU. Sure, I guess I can have the salad with dressing on the side, and please hold the tomatoes, carrots, cheese, nuts…actually can I get a house made balsamic vinaigrette and extra cucumbers? BLAH. Nobody – or at least in my case – wants to be That Girl Who Eats Salad On A Date. Give me the house special! The seasonal menu! The signature dish! ANYTHING WITH BARBECUE SAUCE PLEASE. But alas, this brings me to tidbit number two.
- So when most – if not all – restaurants are out of the question, you realize that you can do so many other things on a date. Go to a local bar to play pool, go to the zoo, mini putting, driving range, hiking, rollerblading, road-tripping, movies, museums, aquariums, sports events…and I’m sure you get the point. (Mini putting is my personal favourite – I don’t know what it is…I just love embarrassing them with my insanely impressive putting skills.) This is not a negative at all – an awesome body-friendly positive! YAY POSITIVITY.
- Some men – not all, but a large amount – are intimidated by women who lift. I had a guy once tell me that my, *ahem* “biceps were too big for him.” Come again? I’m five feet tall with the toned arms of Aphrodite herself (if she was a fitness model) – if you don’t love my biceps, please step to the left. I have had more than one male tell me he is worried I’m more shredded/cut/fit/ripped than him. IF YOU’RE WORRIED, LIFT MORE! But in all honesty, I like you for you, so do whatever.
- So that brings me to guys who DO lift. This can be a positive or a negative: they are either super supportive and understanding OR they are annoyingly competitive. Um, hello – of course you can lift more than me…you’ve got 100+ pounds and a foot on me! CONGRATULATIONS MEATHEAD. Then you have the other end of the spectrum. When I say these guys are supportive, they’re as supportive as they can possibly be: unless they have trained for a competition themselves, they will never fully understand. And that’s okay. Just please, for the love of the protein god, do NOT be needy and want all of my time. The gym comes first for me during in-season training – you can be number one in off-season.
- Is there some genetic sequence in that extra Y chromosome that makes some men know-it-alls? This is another grievance I have had whilst dating as a fitness competitor. Everyone knows that everyone has a different philosophy on food and training plans: do NOT come at me telling me I’m training or eating wrong. I have a coach and I follow what she says. If I was really unhappy or had an issue, I’m self-aware enough to notice and deal with it. And to be frank, ONE KNOW-IT-ALL + ONE-KNOW-IT-ALL DOES NOT EQUAL A GOOD TIME. I tell this to people all the time – especially my parents, rawr! – if I want your help or need your advice/assistance/wisdom/cup of stevia, I will ask you. Do not, under any circumstances, assume some ancient gender role and act like I know nothing, because I am a woman. GET CORRECT, SON.
- I know I’ve spent the last few points complaining – heh, what else is new? #bitterblonde – but I do know there are good supportive partners out there for my fellow competitors. I’ve heard the stories of team meal prepping, motivating and supporting each other in fitness goals, and other cute tales. (Sidenote: searching for meal prep cook. Inquire within.)
I’ve discovered that dating as a fitness competitor is just not for me right now and that’s totally okay. I am such an affectionate and loving person – don’t laugh, it’s true! – so I tend to switch focus to the love corner of my life and that isn’t a priority for me right now. (Plus most guys in the GTA are boring to me. BOLD STATEMENT, I KNOW.) Maybe in my off-season, I’ll meet a guy whose willing to sip protein shakes by the fire occasionally without being needy AND MAYBE HE’LL SPOT ME IN THE GYM. Swoon.
But for now I’ve got my drink (black coffee) and my two-step (double legs days in the gym!),