On Love & Loss: IDFA World Championships 2013

This past weekend, I competed in my second competition of this triple competition blitz I am going through right now: the IDFA World Championships & Pro Universe.

t-walk posingz

Since I had placed top 5 at my very first competition – IDFA Novice Classic, four score and 100 years ago –  I was qualified to compete in the Open Fitness Model division category in the night show at the World Championships. Therefore, I was competing against fellow top 5-ers from the various IDFA events that had happened over the year across Canada.

Competition was fierce.

open fitness model
The ladies of Open Fitness Model: Short
the money shot. guess which one is me?!
Side Pose (why am I one of 2 people smiling?!)
Sandwiched between the future 3rd and 4th place
the dreaded front pose: i hate this one!

There were seven ladies in my class: Open Fitness Model – Short; one of them I had competed against at the Novice Classic back in April. I think I was one of the youngest in my class – a plus (dat youthful glow and supple skin lolz) and a not-so-plus (muscle maturity – waaaah!)

(You can check out my Facebook album of photos here.)

I felt like I brought a fairly dry package to the stage – wasn’t feeling as #flyandsexy as I was at UFE the previous weekend, but was feeling confident and ready to take number one. I felt weird about my body that day since it was a double depletion – I had a shorter carb deplete, but I was already depleted from my previous show so I didn’t need a super long one. I dunno…#science!

When I got on stage, I was super nervous for some reason (the lip quiver happens every. single. time! Why?!) But I did my sassy, cheeky thang on stage and posed my heart out during mandatory comparisons (I was sweating!) My lower back and calves are still sore – a testament to the serious booty-popping, knee-popping posing I was doing on stage. It was probably the longest I’ve been on stage EVER.

Intermission came around and I met all of my fans/groupies/cheerleaders: SHOUT OUT TO DANIELLA, STACIE, NIKKI, JILL, LUKE, KELLY, ANNIE, MA AND PA FOR COMING TO WATCH ME! Instead of the standard bouqet of flowers, my parents bought me a bouqet of…protein bars from the Allmax booth! I’ll take it! Protein trumps flowers any day…that’s the kind of girl I am!

Should I just skip to results?

I’m sure you all know what happens.

I didn’t place top 5.

I was really and truly crushed. I was standing backstage with the lovely Colleen when they announced the top 5 winners and when they hadn’t called my name by the fourth number, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. “Please call 560, please call 560” – I was telekinetically begging the judges to call my number. I know it seems dramatic, but in that moment, the stage crashed all around me and I was shattered. I had never not placed before. I was fighting back tears and couldn’t stay backstage long enough to congratulate the winners, which I felt bad about, but I was really upset! I was sobbing when I came off stage and thankfully Jill was there with one of her great hugs! I gathered my stuff up and tried to hide my tears from the other competitors (is that poor sportsmanship to cry? Does anyone know?) I met my family and friends out in the lobby where they were SO FREAKING SUPPORTIVE, I couldn’t help but burst into fresh tears.

I was embarrassed since I had been feeling confident all week that I would do well at this competition.

I was embarrassed because I either came second last or last in my class. And I would have to tell everyone who knew about my competition that I did. 

I was disappointed in myself for not staying true to my year’s goal of placing top 5 at all of my competitions.

I was disappointed that I had disappointed my coach, friends and family. I want to make them proud!

I was disappointed that I couldn’t bring home another trophy – I only have one! She’s lonely. 

But my friends and family gave me the best group hug ever (including Colleen!) and I learned some hard, but awesome lessons that night.

Lesson #1: You don’t always win first or second or third place or fourth or fifth place.

Lesson #2: Having amazing and supportive friends and family who:

  • Drive three hours to see you and wait another four hours to see you onstage for a total of 10 minutes,
  • Spend their hard-earned money on a ticket to see you on stage for those 10 minutes,
  • Cart around four litres of water and sneakily eat their food in a theatre to watch you,
  • Cry when they see how upset you are (Stacie Pepper! You made me a softie!),
  • Buy you half-a-years’ worth of protein bars when they forget the flowers at home,
  • Scream their lungs out and lose their voices screaming your number and making you laugh on stage, 
  • Give you a series of such intense group hugs that everyone’s almost kissing and my face is inevitably in someone’s not-so-deep cleavage at some point, and
  • Sending me the sweetest text messages afterwards making sure I’m okay and not drowning myself in candy corn and chocolate creme eggs.
Luke captured this Team Bunny love!

At every competition I learn something new. And at this competition, I think I learned the best lessons yet: the value of a strong support group and  – I’m going to get super cheesy here, blame Stacie for making me a softie! – the power of love! It was definitely there on Saturday night and I think after I had gotten over the initial upset of not placing, I became more emotional from all of the love and support I was getting from my friends and family – even all you beauties texting me who weren’t physically there! I am truly #blessed and grateful for having such positive and wonderful friends and family who support me in this trying, high-level dedication and commitment sport.

Dee, me, Stacie and Nikki!


I have one more competition this season – the UFE North American Championships on Saturday morning and my main betches/roomies/party girls from university, Lesley and Michele are coming to watch me for the first time! I am super pumped and revamped for this weekend.

My mindset for this peak week?

Just do my best. Give it my all. Have fun on stage. Be cheeky. Be sassy. Be me. (And try not to have a lip quiver for one freaking time?!)

Weeee! A couple surprises for this weekend’s show as well in terms of suit and hair!

Stay tuned, studs!




8 Comments Add yours

  1. Stacie says:

    No, I’m not crying while I read this, why do you keep asking me that? K, I actually am crying because I totally re-lived Saturday night right meow.

    I was also trying to forcefully tell the judges with my brain powers to say 560. Seeing your cute little face upset is not a sight I like to see! Don’t be embarrassed, mostly because #datass, but also because who does 3 freaking comps 3 weekends in a row?! YOU! THAT’S WHO! And that makes you: awesome, strong, crazy and super woman-esque.

    Regardless of results, you did us proud. You always just look so great on stage, you can tell you are home up there! You win some, you lose some, and if you learned from this experience, then in the end – YOU WIN!

    aaaaaaaaand your welcome for making you a softie

    lotsa love and lotsa squats!

    ps – I don’t think it’s unsportsman-like to cry – you weren’t an a-hole about it, just disappointed, it happens. Crying is okay and the world should know that it’s okay! If crying isn’t okay then I’m screwed.

    1. Paige Andrea says:

      Thanks Stacie aka bean! 😉

      Thanks for being there! You know I love ya #soultwin

  2. Girl, this made me cry. None of couldn’t believe that you weren’t top 5- we thought you had a great booty, great conditioning, and sass to boot. You were a freaking bombshell!!

    Also, Stacie’s hashtag is the best. #datass should be a #teambunny staple.

    1. Paige Andrea says:

      Awww don’t cry Nikki – I can’t have another softie in my life lol!

      Thanks for coming to support me – love the love and I really appreciate it!: )

  3. Sarah Burton says:

    Very touching post Paige! I am currently working with Jill too and I read your blogs all the time… you are a true inspiration and completely kick a** As much support as you feel from Team Bunny, Jill especially, you should also remember how much support YOU provide complete strangers, without even knowing it, like me!

    Sometimes when I am struggling through my day and feel exhausted and defeated I read your posts or see your pics on Facebook and it pushes me to do and be the best I can be! So I want to THANK YOU for all of the support you have provided to me throughout my journey!

    It is pretty amazing that a family (Team Bunny) and group of girls could all come together to support one another in competing in this type of world! Who would have thought!

    Keep up the amazing stuff!!! You look great, you kick a** and you will do amazing in your next competition!

    Sarah B

    1. Paige Andrea says:

      Ahhhh Sarah this gave me chills! That means so much to me that you said that! I can’t believe that I can inspire and motivate people but I am extremely happy that I can! It’s my dream 🙂 Will I be seeing you on stage soon?!

  4. Skye Lee says:

    Placing isn’t going to make or break you~ it’s how you deal with the results that reflects the true champion within. Baby girl, you looked incredible and big things are coming your way if you keep this amazing attitude up! Love your work and congratulations on a stunning show xxo

    1. Paige Andrea says:

      Thank you dollface! Love your support and love! I miss your posts! xx

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