This is going to be a new thing, I know it. #DYEBP
I haven’t written a post in forever. (I FEEL LIKE I KEEP WRITING THIS SENTENCE.) I’m sorry – I get super busy with work, training, Cellucor demos, my ghost writing on the My Virtual Mission blog, SLEEPING, and trying not to be too much of a hermit and have a social life (yeaaaah, that’s not happening anytime soon.)
I’m on Day 2 of Phase One of what “normal” people would call “cutting” a.k.a. bikini competition prep. But the best part is I’m not doing 9 hours of cardio a day on 400 calories! OOH RAH. #FeelsGoodMan. I’m 15 weeks/100 days out! This prep is way different because I didn’t “bulk” like a lot of competitors choose to do in their “off-season”…it’s how I thought you were supposed to do it! But I didn’t want to do 50 years of cardio and have little to no sleep..I have a job and would like to keep my sanity thanks! So I maintained a semi-lean bulk and now I only have to do 4 short cardio sessions a week! I used to do 14 CARDIO SESSIONS A WEEK. 14 HOURS OF CARDIO A WEEK. WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?! WHEN DID I BREATHE?! And did I even gain any muscle, lol?
Oh speaking of muscles…I actually made muscular #gainz these past few months. Mini leg and back separation PRE-DIET CHANGE. Dat’s dat good good metabolism.
I’m itching to get back on stage (nah, I don’t have crabs.) And I already know the suit colour I want and let’s be serious..I’M GOING TO LOOK FABULOUS!
Call me “conceited”, but if you don’t love yourself, NOBODY WILL! Nobody has time to feel sorry for you and your #firstworldproblem “tragedies.” Just do work and work in silence. Don’t be that douche monkey lifting less than you at the gym but yelling like a baboon in childbirth. (It’s a metaphor. Wink wink.) Can women stop putting emphasis on the negatives in their life stories? Celebrate the positive! /end rant
I knew this was going to end up like a ranty word-vomit piece. NOT EXACTLY MY BEST WORK BUT LOOK AT ALL THE GIFS. I thought I’d update you on my fitness-side of life aka my favourite part of life.
- I’m loving my new food plan and workouts from my coaches at A Healthy Fit (PAM+JULES 5EVER)
- Leg workouts are destroying me. Pickles in the butt twice a week!
- My back workouts are kind of meh lately. I be steady missing those deadlifts. But just have to reignite the flame between mind-muscle connection.
- Um, I can bench press ALMOST 100lbs?! With a spotter, obv. (Thanx to @Stoodley3 for dealing with my sensual lifting faces – go follow him on IG!)
- Warning to friends and family: I am planning on absolutely destroying my competition(s) this year, so forgive me because I am about to be M.I.A. training my gluteus maximi off. If you can’t handle that I’m going after my dreams and goals, because you’re too busy living a mediocre life with your lacklustre sig other and/or have no ambition (who r u) and/or are drowning in your own pity party, I’m sorry but I can’t help you.
If you’re looking for me, I’ll be eating, sleeping, working, or working out. Or follow me on Instagram for all the booty, progress, and inspiration: @itsbetterblonde.
DRUNK IN GAINZ