Do You Even Bikini Prep?

This is going to be a new thing, I know it. #DYEBP

I haven’t written a post in forever. (I FEEL LIKE I KEEP WRITING THIS SENTENCE.) I’m sorry – I get super busy with work, training, Cellucor demos, my ghost writing on the My Virtual Mission blog, SLEEPING, and trying not to be too much of a hermit and have a social life (yeaaaah, that’s not happening anytime soon.)

yum cereal!

I’m on Day 2 of Phase One of what “normal” people would call “cutting” a.k.a. bikini competition prep. But the best part is I’m not doing 9 hours of cardio a day on 400 calories! OOH RAH. #FeelsGoodMan. I’m 15 weeks/100 days out! This prep is way different because I didn’t “bulk” like a lot of competitors choose to do in their “off-season”…it’s how I thought you were supposed to do it! But I didn’t want to do 50 years of cardio and have little to no sleep..I have a job and would like to keep my sanity thanks! So I maintained a semi-lean bulk and now I only have to do 4 short cardio sessions a week! I used to do 14 CARDIO SESSIONS A WEEK. 14 HOURS OF CARDIO A WEEK. WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?! WHEN DID I BREATHE?! And did I even gain any muscle, lol?

BYE CARDIO

Oh speaking of muscles…I actually made muscular #gainz these past few months. Mini leg and back separation PRE-DIET CHANGE. Dat’s dat good good metabolism.

I’m itching to get back on stage (nah, I don’t have crabs.) And I already know the suit colour I want and let’s be serious..I’M GOING TO LOOK FABULOUS!

naturally 

Call me “conceited”, but if you don’t love yourself, NOBODY WILL! Nobody has time to feel sorry for you and your #firstworldproblem “tragedies.” Just do work and work in silence. Don’t be that douche monkey lifting less than you at the gym but yelling like a baboon in childbirth. (It’s a metaphor. Wink wink.) Can women stop putting emphasis on the negatives in their life stories? Celebrate the positive! /end rant

BLEGH

I knew this was going to end up like a ranty word-vomit piece. NOT EXACTLY MY BEST WORK BUT LOOK AT ALL THE GIFS. I thought I’d update you on my fitness-side of life aka my favourite part of life.

  • I’m loving my new food plan and workouts from my coaches at A Healthy Fit (PAM+JULES 5EVER)
  • Leg workouts are destroying me. Pickles in the butt twice a week!
  • My back workouts are kind of meh lately. I be steady missing those deadlifts. But just have to reignite the flame between mind-muscle connection.
  • Um, I can bench press ALMOST 100lbs?! With a spotter, obv. (Thanx to @Stoodley3 for dealing with my sensual lifting faces – go follow him on IG!)
  • Warning to friends and family: I am planning on absolutely destroying my competition(s) this year, so forgive me because I am about to be M.I.A. training my gluteus maximi off.  If you can’t handle that I’m going after my dreams and goals, because you’re too busy living a mediocre life with your lacklustre sig other and/or have no ambition (who r u) and/or are drowning in your own pity party, I’m sorry but I can’t help you.

If you’re looking for me, I’ll be eating, sleeping, working, or working out. Or follow me on Instagram for all the booty, progress, and inspiration: @itsbetterblonde.

XO

DRUNK IN GAINZ

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. Stacie says:

    Preach, my sistah, preach! Can’t wait to see #demgainz on stage, in a fab new bikini.

    luv ur numba 1 fan;
    spepp

    1. Paige Andrea says:

      thanks lover! you are my number one fan! xo

  2. Unapologetic and awesome, true to your character! ❤ it. You're gonna kill this!

    1. Paige Andrea says:

      Thank you Cheryl! 🙂

    1. Paige Andrea says:

      you too! you’re so close! also i may or may not be there on saturday with a certain tall friend of mine! 😉

  3. Another show! Yay! Which one are you doing?! Pumped to watch you work girl 🙂

    By the way, how do you go about demo-ing for Cellucor?? I am finding info to demo for Quest, but I loooooove Cellucor’s protein too 🙂 Much yummmm, delicious pancakes with that shit!

    ~Jess

  4. Skye Lee says:

    Babe, you look fabulous from all the endless stalking from yours truly, can’t wait to see you on stage again and dayam dat booteh fine haha 🙂
    Glad you are giving the stepper a rest too…those things suck the life force out of every living breathing soul Amen! xx

    1. Paige Andrea says:

      OMG remember us last year?! No fruit?! So much cardio! Ay caramba! Look at us all professional now! Can’t wait to see you rock the stage AGAIN! xoxoxoxo

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