Do You Even Bikini Prep/I Suck At Blogging: 8 WEEKS OUT

….I have left you like a jar of peanut butter with half a tablespoon left in the bottom that is too little to scoop out with a spoon (anything less than 6 tablespoons is just pointless to consume!) I’m sorry, my lovely followers. I have been insanely busy at work (Excuse #1), attempting a social…

3 Month Countdown: UFE Showdown

So I have an app on my phone that counts down to my competition (as I mentioned in my last post) and today it alerted me that it’s… 3 MONTHS UNTIL UFE SHOWDOWN. Holy hell, right? Most people would start their “cut” at the 12-weeks-out mark but my sexy coaches gave me a 14-week bikini…

Do You Even Bikini Prep?

This is going to be a new thing, I know it. #DYEBP I haven’t written a post in forever. (I FEEL LIKE I KEEP WRITING THIS SENTENCE.) I’m sorry – I get super busy with work, training, Cellucor demos, my ghost writing on the My Virtual Mission blog, SLEEPING, and trying not to be too much of…

Toronto Has The Best Restaurants For Cheating

…it’s not what you think, I swear. This beeyotch is loyal to the bone. 😉 Anywho, enough of me being inappropriately sassy. I have less than a week left in my off-season…craaaazy right!? I’ve been trying to cross off all the foods I drool over while I’m in competition prep so I’ve been busy hustling all…

#GlutesForTheBrutes: A Playlist

You want a sneak peek into the little buds screaming sweet nothings into my ears? Yeeaaaaah, you do. Here is a retrospective view into my musical tastes over the past year: April 2013 was my My Lots of Cardio, No Carbs Playlist (Can I laugh at people who do this now, or…? Nah.) February 2013 was A…

Ambition & My First Real Off-Season: #2014MyYear

Hello? Is this thing on? I haven’t written on this baby in over two weeks! And I can’t remember the last fitness-related post I wrote. (I’ve been a crazy whirlwhind of things and updates, so I guess this will be a hefty post.) And lucky for you, I don’t really have any new material to rant…

Hey Guys, Learn Your MANners

So it’s 10 days into 2014 and I’m already feeling the need for another Festivus so I can air my grievances. (That’s a good sign for the year to come, right?!) Anyways. Remember when I expressed my feelings (vented, ranted, bitched…whatever) about dating as a fitness competitor? Via some R&D (Research and Development, to my…

The Year Ahead: My Jay-Cutler-Size To Do List (No 22-Inch Arms Though)

Happy New Year everyone! I can’t believe it’s already 2014..I remember drawing pictures of what I thought the year 2000  was going to be like and here we are in two thousand and freaking FOURTEEN. (I see none of my predicted hovercrafts and metallic clothing.  The closest we have is Lady Gaga’s attire and the…

Happy Festivus!

If you know me, you know I am the self-proclaimed female George Costanza. I also am trying to post QUALITY posts over QUANTITY posts (shoutout to my main heezy, Casey Palmer, for that sweet blog advice.) Anyways. TODAY IS FESTIVUS. HAPPY FESTIVUS TO ALL!  Now – for the main event: the Airing of [my] Grievances….

I <3 Fitness: Inside Fitness Women’s Training Guide Launch Party

Yesterday I was one of a select group of lucky fitness-loving ladies to be invited to Inside Fitness Magazine‘s Women’s Training Guide Launch Party (available December 16!) at the exquisite Battle Arts Academy. It was an amazing afternoon of sweating and getting our butts kicked by the best fitness experts in the biz (totally made me…

All I Want For Christmas Is Upper Body Gains

…Buuuut you guys can’t give those to me so here’s a list of things I actually do want for Christmas. (This post is mainly for my Mom since she asked me for a list this morning. #multitasking) I will be expecting these things in my mailbox/inbox/under my Christmas tree/couriered to my work/gym. I will also…

One #Blessed Blonde: UFE North American Championships 2013

Okay so I may or may not be hopped up on my first Starbucks in a week – take a guess! – but I am feeling #highonlife! If you’ve been creeping following my Instagram/Facebook feeds this weekend, you’ll know that I competed in the Elite Bikini and Fitness Model categories at the UFE North American Championships…